As I stumbled after the EMT’s through the entrance of the NICU everything seemed to spin. My husband needed to park the car so I sat alone on a couch, in my son’s new room, as numerous medical staff buzzed around and the EMT gave a synopsis of all that had happened in the past 7 hours. After the summary they brought my son out of the incubator, he had been transported in, and lay him on the warming table. He immediately had another “episode” for all of the staff to witness. I consider this to have been the hand of God, for I no longer had to describe what I had seen, hours prior, the staff watched the scene unfold before them.
Several of these people introduced themselves to us as they talked us through what to expect and gave us paperwork to sign. I held back tears and could only think of the fact that he had not been fed and had to be hungry. I would then be told that I was welcome to pump but I could not feed him until they knew more about his condition. As a mother who had breastfed 6 babies with no interference this came as a hard blow. I knew that I no longer had free access to care for my child using my motherly instincts.
Feeling ill from little sleep and no food for atleast 7 hours my husband and I got a snack. We discussed our options and decided that I would need to go home and rest if I were to recover from giving birth less than 48 hours before. The nurse assured me that she would take good care of him. I have never had to leave a child at a hospital before. I barely slept that night. We got up early, dropped the children off at their cousin’s house and headed back to the hospital. A phone call to the nurse, before we arrived, revealed that my son had experienced two more “episodes” since we had left and now was being video taped with an EEG attached to his head. They had finally confirmed my suspicions. These “episodes” were seizures and they had no idea what was causing them.
When Children’s first came to get my baby boy they prepared me for him to be in NICU for 72 hours. This alone overwhelmed me. The original EMT saw no reason why I would not be able to continue nursing my child after his admittance. I feel that God protected me from knowing what would happen because I was not ready to process it yet.
If I had known that my sweet child would have to endure 36 hours without food, a spinal tap, 2 MRIs, 4 IV insertions, numerous heel pricks and so on, just so they could confirm that they had no idea what was causing the seizures I would have run the opposite direction.
In the end he spent 6 nights in NICU but the purpose of our stay there far surpassed a diagnosis. My LORD God had a plan and I got a too watch it unfold with awe…